the hardest things to deal with are those closest to home

Today i was talking with a friend from work about future plans, and i was saying how i would love to go away, yadaa yadaa, but i can't for this and this reason. and she said, "caitlin, you're too selfless, just go and do what you want." As soon as she said that i thought, if only you knew the truth. If only i truly was selfless. I'm realizing more and more the bad qualities of myself, that i'm bitter, prideful, and very selfish...and thats a hard place to be in. You need to have the strength to accept it instead of letting them bog you down, and the understanding of lifting those things up to God. I'm selfish in who i want to hang out with, and have learned that i get my pride, not from who i am, but in who my friends are. I don't know how it happened.. How this pridefulness has evolved but when i wasn't looking it evolved, and flowered into an enourmous, hideous beast to which no eyes would easily view. You may be wondering, why am i sharing this with the world? Well firstly, i don't think the whole world will view it, but secondly, I think it is incredibly important for us to realize and let go of our faults, we all have them, let us stop hiding them. Bring them out into the open, and pray for each other, that we would gain control over these things. I just want you to know, that i am working on these, and that the Lord is with me as i do.