ridiculousness

Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYGWl3i9SmA

I don't understand this song. Sit, listen, read the lyrics. It is a song I have heard many times, sang along with, and enjoyed. I hadn't however, until today that is, really listened to the lyrics. Today they hit me with a great weight. I found this song quite disturbing.

No it is not explicitly violent nor dangerous to listeners, rather the lyrical content and upbeat music do not seem to match. What I really dont' get is at what point did songs with lyrics such as, "You'd better run, better run, outrun my gun," sound to be upbeat, happy, and energetic? And at what point have we as consumers accepted this? Some will weite me off as a peace-loving hippy.. and maybe in some ways I am, but I think we seriously need to consider what we are choosing to listen to. I mean come on. Knowing people who have been personally affected by gun violence, I just don't see the humour, nor the point of these lyrics. Whats next? Are we going to sing casual songs of people dying of cancer? of HIV? of drug overdoses or suicides put to quick tempos and danceable music? No. Becasue they are tragedies and should not be made light of... these are just my thoughts.

Spring is in the air

Can you feel it? Can you smell it? Can you touch it? I can sense it in my spirit and in my bones. I can! And although I have basically grounded myself for a month with the exception of school, work and practicing with buninga, I can feel the warmth through the window, and know that the winter blues are gone. At least for a time. And the idea brings me peace.

Uncomfortable

Every 2.2 seconds, a child loses a parent due to war, natural disaster, poverty, disease and other causes.

Tonight I did a presentation on a workshop designed to give ideas to caregivers to implement play therapy techniques with orphaned children who have experienced trauma. The presentation was to a small group of classmates who are all ECE's and I feel it went pretty well. A couple classmates warned me, "Caitlin, I hope you don't make me cry." and although I was successful at ensuring the workshop wasn't too emotional for any of my classmates, I left with tears in my eyes.

I have become somewhat obsessed in my experiences in both Jamaica and Romania working with orphaned children, and almost every project within this last semester some how incorporated the lives those children. I see their faces in every picture of poverty, hear their voices in every broadcast about war, and feel their heart anytime love is referenced.

Again, I state, every 2.2 seconds, a child loses a parent due to war, natural disaster, poverty, disease and other causes. In this statistic I recognize the children that I have played with, sang with, danced with, become angry with, and loved and it sends shivers down my spine. These are no longer statistics to me, but children.Children full of hope, adventure, and life. Children, full of innocence, wonderment, and mystery. Children full of potential, dreams, and curiousities. Children.

I hope and pray that I will always be uncomfortable by such facts and I pray that others will be aswell.

A Franciscan Blessing

“May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Amen.”

Beautiful

The Process

It seems I go through times of discovery and times of confusion. That in some moments I believe I have everything figured out and in others, nothing at all. Lately I have become more used to being at a place of constant uncertainty, and it is actually becoming comfortable, like a well worn autumn sweater. I used to be pulled down by it, overwhelmed by it, and disheartened by it, but now the thought of it, brings me peace.
In attempt not to appeal to much to pop culture, K'naan, in one of his songs sings, "any man who knows a thing, knows he knows, not a damn thing at all." I don't know anything, and I seem to question everything, but only by grace am I saved. And amazing grace it is.

It has been the longest blank space

I am writing to recreate the old, re-establish my thoughts, hopes and dreams in the virtual world, and reconnect with those I've become disconnected from. I am not trying to get anything out of this, other than sharing my simple thoughts.

a sinner's heart

For a long time i have felt winded. You know the awful feeling after a ball is kicked into your stomach? When you are breathing in so deeply that you end up not being able to breathe at all? thats what i have felt like. As if for some reason, despite my attempts i am unable to breath the beautiful air around me, and my asthmatic lungs are breaking down. I have felt that regardless of what i had done, regardless of what i had felt, i could find no way of changing the patterns. I had seemed to begin a path towards a person that i didn't much like. I was tired, was becoming increasingly selfish.. i knew i was doing it, becoming what i hate. becoming the last thing this world needs. but i couldn't stop. Like a downward spiral, and i just watched. I did most things with bitterness, and harshness, and i'm sick of it. Today i was really touched. Today i was touched at church in a way i hadn't let myself be in awhile. I'm tired of complacency, i'm tired of being tired of life. Maybe this is just a sinner's heart, maybe this is just the struggle life will put you through. But i'm tired of it, and i wish and hope to chance.