Its great being Ridiculous

wouldn't you agree?

A perfect me and a perfect you

sorry.. this will be a long one.
I'm going to tell you a story of Mother Teresa that i found in the bood "irresistable revolution" (a very great book) Shane Clairborne went to work in Calcutta in the House of the Dying and he says this:
"Mother Teresa was one of thosepeople who sacrificed great privelage because seh encountered such great need. People often ask me what Mother Teresa was like. Sometimes it's like they wonder if she glowed in the dark or had a halo. She was short, wrinkled, and precious, maybe even a little ornery, like a beautiful wise old granny. But there is one thing i will never forget - her feet. Her feet were deformed. Each morning in Mass, I would stare at them. I wondered if she had contracted leprosy. But I wasn't going to ask, of course. 'Hey mother, whats wrong with your feet?' One day a sister said to us, 'Have you noticed her feet?' We nodded curious. She said, 'Her feet are deformed because we get just enough donated shoes for everyone, and Mother does not want anyone to get stuck with the worst pair, so she digs through and finds them. And years of doing that have deformed her feet.' Years of loving her neighbor as herself deformed her feet."
I think about Perfection. We are taught and know that we can never be perfect. That we will always sin, that we will always fall short. But, I think of people like Mother Teresa, And i don't really believe it. We are told to die to ourselves. To abandon our 'self' and be Christ-like figures. If we are truly Christ-like figures then i think we can be perfect. If we abandon all of our crap, our selfish desires, our need for success and to impress, if we are seperated from this world, then we leave a lot more room for Jesus. If we truly die to ourselves, then Jesus can truly live in us, and if Jesus can truly, ultimately live in us, then i do think we can be perfect. Just as Christ is perfect. Don't sell yourself short, don't cop-out, saying, well we can't be perfect so it doesn't matter that i sinned against God. I think God desires us to be perfect. Just as he is perfect. Just as i don't think there was much of mother Teresa left in her when her soul left this earth, but I think there was a whole lot of God, a whole lot of perfection.

Something I've realized lately. This is may not be profound for you, this may not even be of interest, but its something i've learned abour myself recently, and something and possible something that someone out there on the world wide web my appretiate, so it will be written. I am realized that I'm really not girly. I do have girly traits.. and do girly things, but i am not, and will never be girly. Okay so i'll define girly.. in my opinion:

• Girly is someone who in the morning does, and makeup before going out anywhere,
  
• girly is someone who has way too many clothes, and who cares desperately about what she looks like,
  
• girly is someone, who when wearing a skirt can sit properly, and someone who can wear high heels.
  
• Girly is someone who puts on make up and keeps it just right all day.
  
• Girly is someone who looks at fashion magazines to get the latest tips and styles.
  
• Girly is someone who goes once a month and get her hair done at a salon and gets it streeked.
  
• Girly is always beautiful physically.
  
• Girly is someone who knows exactly what to wear with what, and someone who loves to go shopping to get the acquired look.
• Girly is someone who always has a nice golden skin colour
  

I am none of those things.

• I get up at 6 and am out the door at 6 15. no time for hair and make-up.
  
• i don't have that many clothes. I think i do have more then i need.. and will probably get rid of some very soon because i just said that.
  
• I really don't care that much about what i look like... i mean my hair is in knots... enough said.
  
• when i wear a skirt i always need to wear shorts underneath because i never ever sit nicely or "lady-like". and sometimes have the urge to climb a tree.....
• I occasionally will put on some eye make-up but always end up smudging it all over my eyes.. i dont' know how it happens.. i just know that every time it does.
• I never look at a fashion magazine or a makeup magazine.... i did once and i think i'm going to sew a dress that i found in it... but then i ripped the page from the magazine and quickly threw out the magazine.
• i don't get my hair streeked.. my hair is in knots... enough said
• i have the palest of pale skin.
• oh and another one of me not being a girl. i very much dislike shaving my legs. Last June (24) the day before my friends wedding i shaved my legs and then didn't until a couple of weeks ago.. i just find it ridiculous that someone out there one day decided it was disgusting for women to have hair on their legs, and every women just accepted it as true without questioning. I mean.. think for yourselves ladies. if you dont' want to, don't do it.
  

So that pretty much sums it up. I'm not that girly.. i am a girl. I do want to be loved, i do want to be beautiful, but a different kind of beauty, a beauty that comes from a closeness with God. I do want to be desired, and sought after, but not for my looks, for my heart and for my mind. Those are the things that will not lose value through time. But i do want to be able to climb a tree in a skirt... and knot my hair... enough said

who wants to run away

Okay so i'm running away. i'm packing my car full of stuff i probably don't need and hitting the road, we're going to the coolestplaces that my little pink car can take me, to the coast, to the states, to mexico maybe. screw the suburbs, screw education, screw work. We'll just drive take the top off of my little toy care and fly. we'll go so far we won't remember how to get back. we'll drive and drive. We'll meet people along the way, meet Jesus along the way, stay in communes and homeless shelter, we'llbe homeless. we'll be free. We'll disciple and tell our stories and we'll be content. We will love every second of it, and if the car dies then we'll sell it to a sheet metal place and we'll hitchhike the rest. doesn't this sound awesome? doesn't this sound like something you want to do? It does for me... sometmes.. but. right. i'm not that irresponsible... i never have been.. so i'll go to school, get my education, however small it might be... and with it.. i will serve. Praise the Lord i will serve. and then on my vacations- if i'll ever need one.. i will run away, for a short time... and then return.